I shall commit

I am known to be a rootbeer addict, and in many ways it’s true – I can easily down a dozen cans of rootbeers in half a day while working – it has been my energizer, keeps me awake, keeps me focused. It’s like how sweets work – they up your attention span for a while, but after it wears off, you get extremely lethargic. My solution to that was simple – keep drinking continuously.

It’s not like I’ve never been told about how harmful it is to my body. I’ve even been sat down by people to listen about very factual lectures of the harm it would cause to my body.

I knew, but I persisted, at first because I was blindly intoxicated with the sensation of being busy – I enjoyed the sense of timelessness and busied myself with insignificant things, but later I saw it clearer, I was enlightened with a new perception of time, and I wanted to make up for lost time, so I persisted, wanting to rush as far ahead as possible while my young body can still absorb the strain.

Unfortunately, I am not young anymore to be doing such things so foolishly. I used to think I’d not live pass 30 due to my reckless lifestyle, but as I get closer to that age I begin to treasure life more. There are more things I want to do, there is more meaning in living on now. While I will submit my lifespan to God’s will, I no longer wish to deceive myself with foolishly thinking and hurt my own body.

Therefore, I shall commit.

I haven’t been drinking much root beer for the past couple of months, but during a normal school term it is rare to see me without a can of rootbeer around in school. My average would be around 5 cans a day. It keeps me awake during the most monotonous lectures, and serves as my fuel to burn me on.

School is starting again next week. It is with much hesitation, but I shall commit not to drink any rootbeer of all brands during my fifth school semester.

I can already see how futile this commitment can end up to be, because there are too many people who knows of my root obsession and would often just takeaway an extra can of mug for me even without me asking.

Even so, I shall commit.

I’ve liked rootbeers ever since I was very very young, and it’s a wonder sometimes how I don’t get sick of it. This short abstinence will make me like it more in the future, whether or not I return to my addiction.

Regardless, a commitment is a commitment. In my personal code of conduct, the greatest misdeed is to break a commitment, and if I ever break a commitment to myself, I will be the greatest hypocrite out there.

For the betterment of my Self, this shall be a test of my discipline. If I hadn’t overestimated myself, I should be able to get through this. If I had overestimated myself, and fail to keep this commitment, then I shall discipline myself severely.

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